Day 33: Free tickets, woo!

What went well? 

1. Had an appointment with a librarian this morning, who pointed me to a lot of helpful databases for my research. Also figured out how to use Google Books more effectively - you can choose to limit it to certain dates. Use your librarians!
2. The TA for Neurolaw (which I'm now just auditing) brought coffee for the break. They weren't kidding about providing coffee!! (it's a 3-hour-long class)
3. Saw Gerald Finley (baritone) and Julius Drake (piano) in concert, performing Schubert's Winterreise song cycle. It was beautifully and devastatingly expressive. As I said in a thank-you note to the Year of Sound funding committee (at Penn) who funded the free tickets to this concert, "Live classical music is always an uplifting and spiritually enriching experience that teaches me so much about the human experience. I really appreciated this opportunity to reconnect to the realm of emotions and artistic expression to balance out the otherwise highly intellectual focus in my daily life as a university student. Thank you for enriching the experiences and well-being of Penn students in this way." Also, I was glad to be able to give one of my tickets to a stranger who was about to buy a ticket at the box office, because one of my friends couldn't come so I had a spare one. It was a nice moment.

Kay & I at the concert.

What did I learn?

• Music, and art more generally, is a profound way of making meaning out of and communicating an understanding of the human experience and of suffering.
• The case of Mr Oft (Berns & Swerdlow, 2003), who was a middle school teacher who made sexual advances on his 12 year old stepdaughter when he was 40. He had no history of pedophilia, but then started secretly started collecting child pornography and developing irresistible urges. Well, it turned out he had this brain tumour, and when they removed the brain tumour, the urges stopped and all was well for a few months. But then the tumour started growing again, and the urges came back. It really brings up questions of responsibility and free will: "My brain made me do it"?? We had a mock trial in class, and the four psychiatrists in the room (the professor + three forensic psychiatric fellows who are also participating in the class) agreed that he should be found not guilty by reason of insanity under the Irresistible Impulse Test but not the M'Naghten Test (which requires defendants to literally not know that what they were doing was wrong). Of course, we only got part of the story; in an actual trial they'd consider more than just the neurobiological evidence, like his personal history, and other aspects of his life.
• Uber is a great service. It's basically a personal driver (or taxi) at demand. They have an app where you just request a driver and they locate you and pick you up. It's connected to your credit/debit card, so the payment gets taken care of automatically. They have a deal for new members, so if you use the promo code uberinlove you get $20 credit, which is what Kay and I did, so we basically got a free ride to the concert and back. And the cars are really nice!

Day 31: Sunday is not a day of rest

Since I did pretty much nothing (like, 2 hours of reading) yesterday, today was a rather industrious day, in preparation for a full & exciting week next week:

At least with the two free dinners, frozen leftovers, and going away for the weekend, I won't need to go grocery shopping next week!

What went well? 

1. Felt like I got a lot done: I did my Sociology of Mental Illness readings in the morning, started some research for my (other) mindfulness paper in the afternoon (started building a research database as Cal Newport recommends, see end of this post for how I adapted it), practiced for my singing lesson tomorrow, and then continued some more research for my "meaning of mindfulness" paper.
2. Watched this highly thought-provoking video: A French Film Showing Men What Being A Woman Feels Like Kinda Nails It

What did I learn?

• It is super handy to have access to the research databases of two university libraries. For some reason, several articles I've tried to track down are apparently not available online through the Penn databases, so the solution is just to log onto the UniMelb library website and search it on Discovery, and it generally works.
• The human brain now registers emoticon as real facial expression. It's amazing how we've adapted to technology at a neurological level.
• Apparently, no one has done any research relating to mindfulness & grit or mindfulness & character.

Miscellaneous thoughts 

• A major difference here is that students are actually expected to turn up for class. In fact, none of my lectures/seminars are recorded (other people have some recorded classes though, but it seems pretty rare), so you actually have to go. Also, people are in the habit of asking questions during lectures here. It is super rare to see that in Melbourne, but people here are really actively engaged in class and aren't afraid to ask.
• Oh my god this first month has gone fast. I've been here for a month already!! Which means I only have 3 months left of exchange!!! Insane.
• So this is what my version of Cal's Research Database looks like. I added a column for key words so I can quickly see what the reference covers, and a column to rank how useful I think it will be, so I can sort and prioritise what to read first. Normally, I would do those steps after downloading all the sources I think are possibly going to be useful, but I am now being more selective and doing some basic processing of the sources as I find them.

Day 28: Library resources

What went well? 

1. Set up an appointment to see a subject specialist librarian next week for guidance on tools that will help with my research paper (I need to be able to track down every occurrence of the word "mindfulness" in books & journal articles, how often it's occurred, how it's been used, in what subject areas, etc. It is wonderful to be living in the digital age). They have so many librarians here!! (did I mention that Penn is well-resourced?!?!)
2. Got a free ticket to see the Penn Glee Club show next Friday night, generously funded by Stouffer (again!!).
3. Had lunch with a friend and started talking about Spring Break. We're going to start making plans on Monday for a road trip, probably along the East coast...hopefully it'll happen!
4. Went to a Duckworth lab meeting and Dr Duckworth was really friendly and welcoming.

What did I learn? 

• Don't judge a course by its syllabus.
• At the same time, interest in a subject is enough to keep me sticking with it...#grit
• Some initial findings relating to the history of the word mindfulness:
• The word “mindful” has been around in the English language since the late 1300s, but its use only started to relate to Buddhism in the late 1800s.
• Early uses of mindfulness often included ideas of memory, intention, awareness.
• I got 4616 hits searching "mindfulness" on the PsycInfo database. Here's the trend for the publications:
 
• I suspect that 99% of these publications will have used "mindfulness" in the sense of "Buddhist mindfulness meditation", or at least referred to Buddhist roots. So far, only the very earliest article in 1916 used mindfulness in the sense of "urges mindfulness of the distinction between the ideal of maximum scientific accuracy and practical usefulness".

Day 19: Neurolaw is fascinating but singing is better

What went well? 

1. Found out that I can take singing lessons for credit after all. Melbourne uni has approved it as a breadth subject, as well as my Ancient Voices ensemble performance subject, so together they'll count for 1 credit unit. Looking forward to having the opportunity to continue developing my voice, especially since I'm singing in an early music choir this semester. Not that choral singing is bad per se, but when it's not balanced out with lessons at the same time, the voice does find it difficult to switch back to solo mode. So, I'll be dropping Neurolaw (but continuing to audit it because it's actually really interesting, but I'd rather not have to actually do the work with all the other classes & research I'm doing :P).
2. Finally went to my first Neurolaw seminar (it was cancelled last week due to snow day). Was amused when the professor told us that this was meant to be our "fun elective" by design, and basically that we don't have to do the readings. So tbh, the workload wouldn't have been that onerous - just a 30 minute presentation and a 10-page paper.
3. My new singing teacher was able to fit me into her schedule (and even shifted around another student to do so).
4. Went to a Speak-EZ meeting. We practiced impromptu 1-minute "toasts" or "roasts" on a random topic we drew from a box. I think it's going to be a great forum for developing my public speaking/thinking on the spot skills.

What did I learn? 

• Melbourne Uni will approve practically anything as a breadth subject on exchange, and it's AWESOME!!! So much freedom to choose. Thanks, UniMelb!
• The embedded lesson is: JUST ASK. It never hurts to ask. The reason why I took so long to act upon this whole music lessons for credit thing (and the deadline was the next day) was because I was sure they wouldn't approve it so I didn't ask. But then I did, and they approved it. Anyway, the worst they can do is say no! So when in doubt, ask.
• The Neurolaw professor is amazingly accomplished, she has both an MD and JD because she couldn't decide what she wanted to be! (and now she's working at the intersection anyway, as a psychiatrist, as well as lecturing in criminology and doing stuff in neurolaw) Super impressive/scary.
• There's a reason the acronym for high intensity interval training is HIIT. It hits you!! Did my first class today at the gym and boy was it painful. I was dying of tiredness before (after a 3-hour long seminar) and dying even more of tiredness after but am now cheerful :) Well, no pain, no gain, and at least it was short and sweet (30 mins)!
• The people at Speak-EZ are really friendly, and it's a really welcoming environment.
• Apparently, I used really effective gestures during my 45 second vendetta against cornflakes (& corn in general). Here's the thing: I had no idea I was even gesturing!! Lesson: Sometimes you really have no idea what you're doing when you're doing public speaking. More mindfulness :)
• As David Cain suggests, I've never regretted a workout. So I should stop arguing with myself "I'm tired, I could go tomorrow..." and just GO. No negotiation. Period.

Here's a random photo inside the Fisher Fine Arts library from a couple of weeks ago. I don't think I shared it, so here it is!

Day 12: Snow Day!!

First snow storm. Class got cancelled! So what did I do instead? Facebooked, blogged, and played in the snow, obviously :P. Also booked a tickets to see two operas - Rusalka & La Sonnambula - at the Metropolitan Opera in New York in February & March.

What went well? 

1. Had a lovely conversation over lunch with a new friend.
2. My kettle arrived from Amazon (I am actually loving Amazon so much) so I am now drinking my first cup of tea in nearly two weeks!
3. It was actually pretty exhilarating being out in the snow. The air was so fresh and everything was so pretty.
4. Played Cards Against Humanity with some Australian exchange students. It was hilarious, I laughed so much. Highly recommended (as long as you can handle that kind of humour, lol)!

Look!

View from the library, 9.45am - 12pm

A couple of pictures of the 6th floor of the Van Pelt Library:

Possibly my new favourite study spot. 

What did I learn? 

• Snow day is a BIG DEAL over here. Classes cancelled, the University's "suspended normal operations" from 2pm, lots of ambulances and sirens around, traffic moving at a snail's pace...
• I get REALLY REALLY excited about snow!!
• Opera star Renee Fleming is singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl this year!!!! She'll be the first opera singer ever to do so. Really exciting. I'm actually going to watch it.
• From The Loss of Sadness: With the DSM-III (1980), depression, for the first time in history, became defined by a list of symptoms with no consideration of context (apart from a brief bereavement exclusion). Greater reliability may have come at the cost of validity (i.e. everyone getting it wrong together).

Day 11: Martin Luther King Day

Today was Martin Luther King Day, so I joined a few people from Stouffer College House on a trip organised by a GA, to a celebration at the African American Museum.

He said, "Beat me at Connect 4 and you can choose anything from this table." I lost.

Artwork by Ellen Tiberino. This one's called "Health Care." I found her work really disturbing, shocking and therefore powerful.

Another one by Ellen Tiberino.

We watched a Civil Rights Hip-Hop performance at noon. I waited too late to get a free ticket from the front desk, so the GA very kindly insisted on giving his to me! But in the end, he was allowed in too, after they checked to see if the auditorium was really at capacity. It really illustrates the way that giving isn't always zero-sum and can expand the pie. I was glad that we both got to see it, because the performance was really powerful. I thought it was a really effective way of communicating the messages of oppression and protest.

So much cuteness! Check out those pigtails. #awwwwwww. BTW, all of these kids could dance 200% better than me. A few of them could legit breakdance.

When we left, the line was even longer than this. Hence why we got there before it opened in the morning!

This evening, I went to my first Ancient Voices rehearsal. Everyone was really friendly, and the group stayed in tune really well. I think I'll enjoy being a part of it. I can also get 0.50 credit units for singing in the group (won't count towards my degree at UniMelb, but I'll get an extra grade on my transcript).

After rehearsal, I spent the next 2.5 hours at the library, arming my academic arsenal with books for that 6000 word paper. I think I am now well-equipped:

I think I cleared the shelves of anything to do with mindfulness and Buddhist meditation.

They even have mini shopping trolleys at the library for ridiculous people like me. It was pretty embarrassing checking all the books out. But at least I've basically gotten the (physical) resource-accumulation phase of research out of the way. More journal articles to download!

Anyway, here's where I'm at with the topic I'm planning to explore. As I wrote to my professor:

"After some reflection, I remembered that it was Western psychology (I'm a psych major), and in particular, a mindfulness meditation course, that drew me to Buddhism in the first place. So I'm thinking about investigating how Western psychology has drawn from Buddhist teachings to form secularised mindfulness practices, as seen in programs like MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction) and (MBCT) Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy. I might consider how modern day mindfulness differs from the way that traditional Buddhist meditation is described and portrayed (i.e. how it's been interpreted through the lens of Western psychology), and what is lost and gained by this approach. I've started gathering some sources and there seems to be a decent amount written on this topic (but I'll need to identify the "gap")."

What went well? 

1. The GA giving up his ticket for the Civil Rights show so that I could have the opportunity. It was such a kind act, and it ended well for both of us!
2. I was looking for a particular book on the shelves of the library, and couldn't find it. Just as I was searching for it in the catalogue on my phone, the library assistant walked by with it since she was in the process of re-shelving the books.
3. My professor likes the topic that I'm planning to explore in my research paper. And he replied really quickly (10 minutes). People are ridiculously efficient around here.
4. The security guard at Stouffer buzzed me in since I was carrying a huge stack of books. Usually you have to swipe your PennCard and enter your pin number to get through the barrier, so that was really nice of her.

What did I learn? 

• Hip-hop is actually a really effective and powerful way of communicating ideas, especially to a young audience.
• I get way too enthusiastic/ambitious about research.
• The photocopier can be really annoying when trying to photocopy big books, and tell you that it can't detect the right size. To avoid this, a more effective way is to centre the book in the middle, rather than in the corner.
• The photocopier is still annoying regardless, because if you're inactive for even 5 seconds it makes you reswipe your PennCard.

Day 10: I found my dream club...

This morning, I did some reading and also admired the architecture around the Quad:

In the afternoon, I went to the Student Activities fair, where all the student clubs were advertising their clubs and getting sign-ups. There were SO MANY CLUBS. They took up 3 floors of Houston Hall.

Just a snapshot of the action.

I was so pleased to discover the Philomathean Society, which I am definitely keen to join. It's basically the dream club for students who are actually intellectually engaged, love learning, believe that learning should take place outside the classroom, and enjoy talking about things that actually matter.

It's also pretty exclusive (elitist?), with a strict admissions process (but anyone can attend most of their events). You have to complete three steps:

1. A 4-6 minute oral presentation on a topic of my choice.
2. An informal, one-hour round-table-style interview with members of the Society.
3. Submit a work of creative/critical value. No constraints on form, it just needs to fit through the door.

Here's their brochure:

I think I'll present on mindfulness or positive education, but I'm still deciding on what to submit. I've narrowed it down to:

1. My blog post, Reflections on Meditation Boot Camp
2. A sociology essay reconceptualising the idea of "Adulthood"
3. A sociology essay discussing structural challenges for young people's mental health
4. My Sunset Haiku from first-year psychology

So I have a question for anyone who's reading this - which one of these do you think is most interesting/creative/critical?

What went well? 

1. Discovering the Philo society and getting really excited about the prospect of joining.
2. A bunch of exchange students randomly congregated at the activities fair so we just chilled together for ages.
3. Still appreciating the total silence of the Fisher Fine Arts Library.

What did I learn? 

• Man, I am so out of shape for yoga. I just went to my first class in two months (it was a free trial class at the gym) and it was surprisingly intense.
• Probably not much from my speed-reading efforts (using fingers to pace, moving eyes down page as fast as possible) of my Intro Buddhism textbook. The instructor's assigned 125 pages of reading just for next week, and I sped-read about 100 pages in two hours, but I think my comprehension would be about 20% if I'm generous. But hey, since I'm doing the research option, that's all the time I can afford to spend on the reading, since I need to spend extra time on research.
• From a mindfulness reading, This is your brain on mindfulness (Baime 2011): There are two distinct neural networks that contribute to our experience of a self; one that contributes to a descriptive narrative, consisting of thoughts about what is happening and what we are; the other underlying a more direct experience of sensation and emotion in the present moment. These two areas are linked, such that activity in the "present-moment" awareness region activates the storytelling region, which explains why beginner meditators constantly and reflexively shift to thinking just as they've experienced a fleeting moment of mindfulness. This shift is literally built into the nervous system. The good news is, mindfulness practice enhances the ability to disconnect these two regions to reduce the likelihood that a mindful experience will automatically be followed by a self-centred monologue. Even the habitual patterns that are deeply built into the body can be changed with practice. The changes that happen at a neural level with mindfulness practice are significant and fantastic.
• Thoughts after speed-reading sections of my Intro Buddhism textbook: I've realised that it's probably a mistake to want to say, "Buddhists do X", or "Don't Buddhists do Y....?", or "Buddhists believe Z". I now realise that there is so much internal diversity within different Buddhist schools, and they all vary so much in what they believe and what they practice.

Day 8: Assessment options, cooking, free concert

So today, I went and saw my Intro to Buddhism professor to ask him for advice on what assessment option I should do. Basically, I have the option of either writing 8 one-page reading responses (40%) due each week and a 3-5 page film response (10%), or a massive 20-22 page original research paper (~6000 words!!!!). Hardly any undergrads choose the research option. Anyway, the professor was really helpful and was happy to talk to me about it. I still wasn't entirely sure though, so in typical Jessie-style, made a pros & cons list:

	Pros	Cons
Short paper option	Low-risk option: each paper is only worth 5%, and the lowest grade is automatically converted to an A A chance to improve my writing productivity? Means that I will gain a decent understanding of every topic in the course Realistically, it's only about 350 words of writing a week	Weekly, inflexible deadlines Need to be on the ball every week, whether or not I'm interested in the topic Less depth and opportunity for original research/going outside the course It takes a lot of time to formulate a good understanding of philosophical & ethical issues & produce a good piece of writing in a week My habit of producing only about two extremely high-quality assignments a semester will probably mean that I'd spend a disproportionate amount of time on these small papers
Research paper option	A good chance to develop research, time management & self-discipline skills I enjoy the research process and crafting an original piece of writing Gives me a chance to thoroughly explore the topic that I'm most interested in and that drew me to the course in the first place, Buddhist meditation Could be a good experience to have the independence & autonomy, along with guidance from "supervisors" (professor & TA) It's essentially a chance to learn more from taking this course: I get everything in the course + everything else I read in my research As long as I put in the effort and work consistently and my professor & TA see that, it really can't turn out to be disastrous	It seems like a massive and daunting task when looked at as a whole. i.e. it's scary! Could turn out to be significantly more work than the short paper option because it still requires doing the weekly readings (though perhaps not in as much depth) as well as extra time spent on research each week

Ok, so in summary, the short paper option seems like the safe option, but the research option looks far more interesting, exciting and rewarding. The only thing that would hold me back from the research option is FEAR, I've now realised, so since I've realised that, and since my goal of exchange, after all, is to embrace everything that scares me, I should obviously write the huge paper! Gah, wish me luck...

What went well? 

1. My Intro to Buddhism professor was nice enough to be willing to meet with me this afternoon to talk about the assessment options, even though I'd only emailed him at noon.
2. One of my interlibrary loan books arrived, only 2 days after I'd ordered it!
3. Cooked for the first time here and got 4 boxes of leftovers out of it:
•  

  

  #notamasterchef

4. Went to a free medieval music concert, performed by an ensemble called Trefoil.

What did I learn? 

• It is so important to shop for classes. I sat in on an Intro to Opera class today and it was the most boring thing EVER and I had no idea what the point of the lecture was.
• Course readers here are ridiculously expensive. Just gah. I paid $49 for my Sociology of Education reader (so yes, I'm definitely taking it now!)...ridiculous!
• Professors are really awesome resources.
• Be sure to google what events are on around Penn, to find out about free events.
• Check what page numbers are assigned. I spent ages last night reading this monster 29-page critique of the DSM-V, only to realise just now, looking at the syllabus, that we only needed to read pp. 1-13. Oops.

Day 5: Exchange Student Orientation Part 2

We started the morning with our immigration check-in, before a brief campus tour and lunch at a food hall, Houston Hall. Hey, the food wasn't as bad as people had made it sound. I thought the options were actually pretty good. I mean, this salad I got was probably the healthiest thing I've eaten since I've gotten here:

Although, I don't get why the walnuts were "candied" - who puts sugar in their salad?!

One thing that I've definitely noticed though, with regard to food, is that healthy food is significantly more expensive than unhealthy processed fast food. For example, that salad was $6.50, while a McChicken burger is about $1.50. This must be a big contributor to why poverty and obesity go hand in hand, and it's largely due to the messed up farmer subsidy systems here.

Here are a few more photos from the tour:

College House. The architecture here is breathtaking. 

The Broken Button. Legend has it, Benjamin Franklin broke a button here? And apparently, one of Penn's "traditions" is to have sex under the broken button before you graduate. #collegeshenanigans 

The Fisher Fine Arts Library, where you get stared at if you breathe too loudly. I'm so glad there's actually somewhere to study where silence is enforced by efficient librarians (compare to "silent" sections in libraries at UniMelb).

The oldest standing building in Pennsylvania.

The "Dueling Tampons".

After lunch, we had some more orientation sessions on public safety, sexual violence, cultural adjustment, and using the library. I actually learned a few interesting and reassuring things about Penn's public safety systems and programs:

1. Free walking escorts anywhere around campus, 24/7
2. Free transit rides at night around campus
3. Guardian, which you sign up for on your phone, allows Penn Police to use GPS to pinpoint your location if you call them. You can also set a timer where you call and set a reasonable amount of time for you to get to a location, and leave a voice message that describes where you're going, what you're wearing, etc. Then when you get to the location safely, you call the number and enter a pin code to deactivate the timer. If you don't deactivate it, they'll send the police out to find you.
4. Free RAD (Rape Aggression Defense) Self-Defense courses. I'm really keen to sign up for one of these.

The exchange student orientation leaders put on a hilarious skit that encapsulated all of the possible cultural differences we might come across, in completely stereotyped form:

"Frat party"

Other memorable moments in the skit included:

• American guys confusing the hell out of an Italian guy with frat language - "brother", "servant" (pledge), "Greek"
• An over-enthusiastic American roommate, keen to become "BFFs"
• American students eating in class and dying to contribute to the discussion, with no substance whatsoever in their contributions

It was really cute.

I then went on a library tour of the Van Pelt library, which is kinda the "main" library. It's got 6 floors and is incredible. It blows UniMelb's Baillieu, Law Library and Giblin Eunson completely out of the water. I can't believe I get to study there. Will take some photos next time I go. And there are about 11 libraries in total at Penn. Really excited to see all of them. I'm still in awe at how well-resourced this place is.

Bought some dinner for cheap ($4.50) at a food truck, but I will start cooking soon (a few times a week), once I schedule in a grocery run.

So in summary:

What went well?

1. I was really impressed by all the public safety initiatives in place.
2. The cultural adjustment skit was hilarious.
3. Learning about some of the history and stories behind some landmarks at Penn.
4. Being excited about the awesome libraries here.
5. The exchange student leaders are all really friendly, nice and helpful.

What did I learn?

• The dining halls are actually pretty good! There are plenty of options, and they are very very vegan friendly.
• There is way too much stuff to do here, it can get overwhelming. Too many events to choose from, too many possible clubs to get involved with, too many cool people to hang out with...#decisionfatigue. I think to be strategic with this, I'll set aside maybe 30 minutes at the end of every week to research and decide on what I really want to do and go to in the following week.
• Penn has so much more tradition, history and culture. There's a story behind everything here.
• There's a 30 day "grace period" after the J1 visa program end date, but if you leave the US before the end of that grace period, it automatically ends, so you can't re-enter the US unless you get another visa (or a visa waiver, in the case of New Zealand). That was a really important piece of information for me to learn, since I'll be travelling to Canada during my grace period, so I'll need to apply for that waiver sometime.

Class starts tomorrow and I can't wait!! I'm also going to audition for an early music ensemble, Ancient Voices. My voice isn't exactly in peak condition at the moment with all the talking I've been doing these past few days, meeting all these new people, but hopefully it goes ok!

Also, I'll go and update my post from yesterday now, since that was a bit sparse.