Day 125: Goodbye, Philly!

What went well? 

1. Managed to finish downloading journal articles for the literature review I'm part of, before my parents woke up in the morning.
2. Took my parents on a tour of Penn. Then they helped me move out. Which went really smoothly. And we were able to waive the fee for the parking garage because we had move-out vouchers! Yusss.
3. Bought a new bag and dress at Macy's. Wow. That place is HUGE.
4. Had dinner at Mi Lah again. It was fabulous as usual. My non-vegan parents were impressed!

What did I learn? 

• Macy's is huge. And the place to shop. Whereas The Gallery at Market East really isn't.

Day 124: GMH

What went well? 

1. The postdoc I'm working with wrote me a really sweet thank you card. And we walked to the BioPond together.
2. My professor is going to help me with the process of getting my term paper published - from revising it to teaching me how to write a submission letter. Just wow. I am so grateful that he believes in me (a lowly undergraduate!!) and is willing to give his own time to help me with it. He GMH. I'm so excited to move forward with this.
3. My parents arrived in Philly! It was lovely to reunite.

What did I learn? 

• My professor's mindset with judging the quality of work. Basically, we both know that my paper was unpolished (probably the least polished piece of writing I've ever turned in) - but he doesn't care!! He says that students at Penn are really good at polishing, when they should have spent that time actually researching. As he says, you can't polish nothing. So he looks for substance. I think that's a great mindset to have - vs. having marks taken off for an APA formatting error for e.g., in psychology.

Day 119: Final stretch!

What went well? 

1. Finished and handed in my Mindfulness-Based Positive Education paper!!!! Felt great to get that done. (But I will edit it again in a couple of weeks before sharing it with the world on Academia.edu)
2. Got my Buddhism mark back (already!! 1 week turnover - prof is so efficient) - and am very happy!! I did invest a disproportionate amount of time and emotional engagement after all. Am especially happy because it indicates that my professor liked my paper - would have been mildly devastated if he didn't :P
3. Met with a friend for dinner! It was great to see her before I leave Philly.

What did I learn? 

• Oh my. The lecture slides for my exam tomorrow are even more disorganised and convoluted than I remember. I am definitely learning things about how to teach, just from seeing how different teaching styles are more effective than others. Presenting information as facts with no narrative, for instance, is not conducive to memory or meaningful learning.
• Wow. I really don't care! It's amazing how little I care about this last exam. I don't know if this is "homeostasis" operating again, or if it's just me finally being able to be rational because this last exam realistically doesn't matter that much in the bigger scheme of things!

Day 118: Over my head

What went well? 

1. Went to a lunchtime colloquium at the PPC on future time perception. Most of it went over my head, but at the end of it I started talking to one of the faculty members there who researches spirituality, and we ended up having a really interesting and meaningful conversation about Buddhism.
2. Alllllmost did a comprehensive edit of my paper. Well, at least I have all morning tomorrow till 2pm. I'm really forward to getting it done and polished, and sending it off to quite a few people who have expressed interest in reading it!
3. One of our lab members provided really detailed feedback on a post-test survey and helpfully suggested a way for us to make the feedback process efficient. <3

What did I learn? 

• Psychophysics is cool but the stuff today was so over my head. The gist, though, is that subjective time perception matters for temporal discounting. Also, there are really novel methods for measuring people's subjective sense of time (e.g. in millimetres!! or spatially).

Day 117: So much better

What went well? 

1. I have to say, I am super happy with how this mindfulness paper is going. Especially when compared with the STRUGGLES of my other mindfulness x Buddhism paper!!! I'm taking it as a good sign that perhaps I actually might kinda know what I'm talking about when it comes to mindfulness and positive psychology in education. So today, I finished my first draft, and did a complete overhaul of the introduction (so it's now 2 pages, not 6). Now the paper is sitting at 23 pages (excluding figure and table), which makes it a much more manageable piece to edit. I'm sure I can get it under 20 pages. Concision is good. It just makes such a huge difference having at least a whole day to edit it. To think that I usually prefer having a week to edit, my expectations have shifted since the Buddhism paper nightmare, and now having a whole day feels like a luxury!
2. The brainstorm we did in our lab meeting last week was really good, because when I met with the post-doc I'm working with this afternoon, we were able to transform them into prose for emails we'll be sending to participants really easily.
3. Also revised another lecture for sociology of mental illness.
4. It was such a beautiful day outside today. :)
5. Buddhism prof sent us this video of monks breakdancing. Forget the quiet, serene, peaceful stereotype! These monks are badass!

What did I learn? 

• I relearned that writing and editing can be an enjoyable process. It is so satisfying and rewarding to transform very roughly noted ideas into something that's flows logically and coherent, is nicely phrased, and engaging to read. (Good) academic writing is a form of craftsmanship.

Day 115: Don Giovanni

What went well? 

1. Went and saw Don Giovanni for free this afternoon!! Thanks Open Arts Philly!! It was really interesting and there was some really good quality singing.
2. And it was with a friend, and hanging out with great people is always a good thing!
3. Wrote another ~2000 words for my mindfulness/positive education paper, and finalised my conceptual model. It's going well! Just have to write up the rest of the integration section now - maybe another 3-4 pages, max - and the conclusion, and then do a massive restructure + edit.



Mindfulness-Based Positive Education: A Proposed Conceptual Model

What did I learn? 

• (Mozart's) Don Giovanni supposedly had over 2000 conquests (i.e. women he womanised). And over 1000 in Spain alone!! He went to hell in the end though, so he definitely got what was coming!

Day 113: Let's go!

What went well? 

1. Saw my friend perform a duet at her singing recital. It was so lovely and beautiful and uplifting :)
2. Had a really productive lab meeting. We did a really comprehensive brainstorm of what we'll be including in our email tips to our study participants.
3. Looks like I wrote about 2000 words towards my sociology of education final. Nearly finished the first part of it.
4. Got dinner with a friend at a great vegan restaurant - Mi Lah Vegetarian. I've been twice and have been impressed with it both times. Will definitely take my parents here when they come!!! It is amazing. Highly recommend.

What did I learn? 

• I'm pretty good at driving stuff forward - the flipside of mild impatience with vagueness and meandering - let's go, get it done, woo!

Day 112: Presence

What went well? 

1. Dr Michael Baime, Director of the Penn Program for Mindfulness, was the guest speaker (or rather, facilitator) for our mindfulness class today. I have never been so attentive in this class before. There was something about his presence that was compelling and just made you want to listen and pay attention. It was a real privilege to hear his insights.
2. I am currently thanking myself for all the work I've already done on my (other) mindfulness paper. I just had a look after not touching it for three weeks and had completely forgotten where I was with it, but was pleasantly surprised to see that it's about 60% of the way there already. I think another solid day of thinking and writing and I will have a solid first draft.
3. The check-out lady at Fresh Grocer is so genuinely friendly.

What did I learn? 

• An interesting and effective way of facilitating a discussion. Dr Baime chose not to give a formal Powerpoint presentation ("the easy way out") but asked each of us what our biggest questions about mindfulness were. Then, he collapsed them into three big questions which he shared his thoughts on. A great way to address the interests of the group.
• The effect of one's presence on everyone else's presence.
• Sleep deprivation has adverse effects on self-control. I don't know if there's been research on it but I definitely felt it!

Day 110: An almost-all-nighter

What went well?

1. Definitely got a lot done. That is all.
2. Actually enjoyed writing my intro Buddhism take-home exam because it was very creative and hilarious.
3. My Buddhism prof is ok with me being way over the page limit - he told me not to worry about the length! Saves me a lot of struggle with cutting stuff down. Unheard of at Melbourne.

What did I learn?

• Stuff really gets done when the deadline is impending.
• Looking up citation details for old books is a drag and takes far longer than expected.

Day 108: Homeostasis

What went well? 

1. Started off the day with a run, and it was really peaceful out.
2. Got coffee again this morning, and it kept me focused all day. Combined with the homeostatic regulation of study I guess (given that I did very little yesterday). Anyway, I finished writing the (draft) of the second section too, so am now at 23 pages, and need to write up the last section - implications etc., tomorrow (or technically "tonight" since it's past midnight), then will have a whole day on Tuesday to do a thorough cut & edit. So it's going!
3. Got a lovely email from my mum. I appreciate her mindfulness of me (yes, I'm totally bringing back 17th century quaint usages of mindfulness as consideration, memory, and regard!).
4. Got more RSVPs for my singing recital, so am looking forward to that.

What did I learn? 

• Caffeine is amazing. That is all.

Day 107: A social day!

What went well? 

1. Bumped into a friend at HubBub (cafe) this morning when I was grabbing a coffee and intending to reason my way through my arguments for my paper. Her friend wasn't able to meet her anymore so we ended up catching up over coffee and had a fantastic conversation! It was great to get to know her better, and such a nice way to start the day. Also, HubBub coffee is great.
2. Went and saw a bit of the Penn Relays with another new friend. As we entered, someone gave us their tickets to pretty much the best seats (we had free tickets as Penn students, but their tickets were worth $42) so that was really nice of them. When we left, we paid it forward to a couple of other students by passing those tickets on. Also, the weather cleared up really nicely and the sun was so nice.
3. Had another great D&M with another friend at our "study party" this evening (2 hours of study, 3 hours of chat :P). I just can't express how much I value substantive conversations. It's stimulating, rejuvenating, rewarding, deepens relationships, and puts everything into perspective.
4. Refined my argument a bit, and I'm less mrahhhh now! :)
5. It looks like lots of people will be coming to my singing recital! So that's exciting.

What did I learn? 

• I'm ok with having an unproductive day (in terms of getting work done) when the time has been spent in other good ways (i.e. with people and cultivating relationships). Being unproductive is only stressful when you are being destructively unproductive (e.g., lamenting over how unproductive I'm being or trying to push through even when the brain says no) rather than doing other healthy activities (e.g., taking breaks, exercising, socialising). Because now I feel ready to get back into this paper tomorrow. It's coming along. I'm at about 18 pages of solid writing/argument (still to be cut down) and 20 pages of notes/word vomit to process or delete.

Day 105: Lock-down mode

What went well? 

1. Got a reasonable amount of work done, and had good energy levels throughout the day.
• Rewrote the first 7 pages of my research paper
• Memorised another 2 words of the Pali paragraph for my Buddhism final
• Took lots of notes on Buddhist ethics for a news response about Buddhist violence in Myanmar against Rohinga Muslims
2. Skipped my first class of the semester (an extremely low-value class), so saved a couple of hours (and a lot of frustration) there
3. Did laundry, so I have clean clothes!

What did I learn? 

• From a Buddhist ethics standpoint, the worst kind of action is one that is intentionally committed and one knows what is going on, but does not recognise that one is doing wrong.

Day 104: The joys of a clear thesis statement

What went well? 

1. If you've been following this blog then you are well up to date with the journey/struggles I have gone through with this Buddhism x Mindfulness research paper! In particular, I had been tearing my hair out trying to figure out what I'm actually trying to argue, since the scope (and length) of my paper exploded and became overwhelming. Well, today, I went and saw a Learning Instructor at the Weingarten Learning Resources Center (the equivalent of an Academic Skills Advisor at Melbourne) to get some help with clarifying my thesis statement. That was a struggle too, and actually she didn't say all that much. But the process and the "deliberate practice" and continued thinking it required - just talking about my paper and ideas for more than an hour - unlocked ideas, and I thought of a thesis statement as I walked out the door. Here it is!! 
• "The meaning and origins of the concept of mindfulness have been oversimplified, but this was essential for the mainstreaming of the concept, or the “mindfulness revolution”. This enthusiasm has, in turn, stimulated a new and dynamic discourse about the complexities of mindfulness and its relationship with Buddhism. "
2. And, got really positive feedback from my professor about this thesis statement, so am feeling much better about this paper now:



My reaction: Yayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!

3. Went to a talk, "How the Heart and Mind Connect: The Neuroscience of Meditation." It was so profound and brought some clarity into my day.
4. Had another class debate for Buddhism! I was reading a sermon in the role of a 10-year-old novice monk, and it was really fun.




5. Positive psychology lecture today was on the positivity ratio controversy. It was so good to get a new perspective on the issue that helped me feel more compassion and respect towards Fredrickson, who has suffered so much from this controversy. I now realise that the blame rests not only on her, but mostly on her dodgy collaborator Losada (who must have known full well what he was doing with his absurd application of mathematics), as well as on the reviewers who never questioned a paper that didn't really make sense and let it through for publication, and every other psychologist who cited and talked about the paper without fully understanding it. We can learn a lot from these controversies, and it helps our discipline grow through self-reflection, even while the reputation of both the people involved and the discipline suffer too.

What did I learn? 

• It really, really helps to talk your ideas through with someone for an extended amount of time, even if they aren't necessarily providing much input or reflecting on what you're said. Just talking about it stimulates thought and clarifies what you're trying to get across. So I've gone from a reaction of "MRAHHHHHHHHHH" (literally) every time I look at my paper to a feeling of calm confidence moving forward with restructuring and rewriting parts of it.
• The grad student who delivered the guest lecture in positive psychology today had debunked the positivity ratio paper 4 years before Brown et al. did, but chose not to publish the paper because he was new to the field and it would not be gracious. So interesting to hear about the politics and tact required as an emerging academic.
• With mindfulness, often attention and intention are uncoordinated. So, attention -> awareness and worldview -> intention, but these are often not working together. But, if we can coordinate them, so that we get attention and intention working together, then we'll be filling our awareness with stuff we actually care about.

Day 103: Physical toughness

What went well? 

1. Had a really good lab meeting this morning with another person at the PPC. He provided great input into what we should do moving forward with launching our study - it's not quite ready to launch yet, but we're getting there.
2. I survived my high intensity interval training class. I hadn't been for over a month, and was actually ready to quit about 10 minutes into the class. Was literally feeling sick because it was really gruelling. But, I didn't quit!! So it is worth celebrating this small achievement of willpower.
3. Finished building the post-test survey for the study.

What did I learn? 

• I could do with some more physical toughness - pushing the physical limits of my body, especially relating to fitness. I think this is one area where, if not pushed, I could tend to give up more easily. I would not survive Boot Camp. Oh my god, just thinking about the HIIT class makes me feel sick again...eek. Bad associations?? And yet, physical toughness is so linked with mental toughness...mind over matter, etc. So maybe it's just about increasing self-discipline and the power of the mind to support the development of physical fitness?
• Desperate times call for desperate measures. I was procrastinating pretty badly this evening, so printed off all 56 pages of my Buddhism draft/notes (double sided, 2 to a page, so 14 sheets) and headed off to the library with just my notebook, those notes, and a pen. No phone. No laptop. No escaping. Just writing. So, did get a little bit more writing and thinking done. It seems to help.

Day 102: Sense beneath absurdity

What went well? 

1. Ok, so in case you hadn't gathered, my Buddhism prof is awesome. Well, he kinda stepped it up a notch today as he handed out our final exams. It's mostly take-home, and when I read it standing in line for lunch, I literally started cracking up laughing. The line that set me off was, "The fourth section you should complete by 2074 around 5pm". The fourth section was "Realize full awakening...". Hilarious. Part I was also bizarre. We were given two scenarios to choose from and "fill in the story" and respond/make a decision using Buddhist concepts. The first story was fairly normal, but the second was completely absurd. Basically, a story of debauchery, stupid drunk tourists, and then trying to justify that to some monks with Buddhist concepts. When I read it (it was very detailed and vividly written), my first reaction was "Wtf did I just read?!?!" But now I realise that even though at surface level this looks completely absurd, it's actually a great way to test for meaningful learning, creativity, and well, actually THINKING. It takes talent to write a test that actually tests for the important things...and is kinda hilarious at the same time.
2. Coffee is awesome!!! Well, I was kinda not grounded and somewhat anxious in the morning, but then had a really productive day - wrote another 1800 words for my Buddhism paper (I'm at 42 pages now and about 80% of the way through my first draft, yay for cutting 22+ pages...), started preparing for my Buddhism final, and submitted my contribution for the class debate. I was actually in flow! And am glad my energy was sustained today. Forget time management - you can have all the time you want, but it's useless without energy management. These next couple of weeks are going to be rather caffeinated, I have (cheerfully) entered lock-down mode for papers and exams and stuff.
3. Got positive feedback from the post-doc I'm working with for the final checks I made on our study that we're about to launch. It's good to know that I'm doing something right.

What did I learn? 

• Those who rate money as unimportant to life satisfaction are more satisfied, and those who rate love as important are more satisfied.

Day 100: Spontaneous Saturday

What went well? 

Today was actually a cool day that I can say, yeah, that's a pretty cool story.

1. Visited the Morris Arboretum in the morning - the University owns this place. Enjoyed the sunshine and the nature.







  

2. A couple of guys started talking to us on the bus back. We ended up getting lunch/dinner with a bunch of people (who they'd also just met), then jamming with violin, electric guitar and ukelele, then going to the "Night Market" at Rodin Rooftop lounge with amazing performances by several cultural dance and arts groups. Totally random but awesome turn of events!!

3. Did my grocery shopping and my friend helped me to carry stuff back, which helped a lot.

What did I learn? 

• People at Penn respect culture a lot. Also, we have some amazing dance groups here, who really love to dance, put their hearts, intensity and energy into it, and are amazingly supportive of their team-mates. And everyone respects that.
• Good things happen when you clear your schedule and go with the flow. Just say yes!
• Writing this Buddhist paper brings up experiences that relate to Buddhist teachings. Like, dukkah. Oh my god, I feel so much unsatisfactoriness towards this paper at the moment. Just, MRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. (my reaction every time I look at it). MRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Day 99: Opera Scenes!

What went well? 

1. There was a lab meeting on positive education today, and the headmaster of St Peter's College, Adelaide came and spoke. It was uplifting to hear the heart behind his work. Even more, Professor Seligman shared some profound insights about positive psychology. It is so special to be at the centre of this.
2. The Rodin Opera Scenes concert went really well!! Got really positive feedback from people, and I really enjoyed it.
3. My friend from high school arrived, and I'm enjoying catching up and hanging out with her!
4. We got IRB approval for our positive intervention study, so we'll be launching that soon!

What did I learn? 

• Professor Seligman thinks that the test of ideas should be whether the real world takes it up. This is why positive psychology and positive education have been such successful ideas, where other seemingly academically sound and good ideas have died. Positive psychologists are out there in the world, working with practitioners and making it accessible and relevant.

Day 98: This is what music is about

What went well?

1. Went to a talk this morning at the PPC on "The Sounds of Kindness: Observing Positive Interpersonal Behavior in Everyday Life". I was totally mind-blown by the talk and all the possibilities it revealed. Basically, Matthias Mehl at the University of Arizona has pioneered the EAR (Electronically Activated Recorder) as a new method - it's a label microphone connected to an device that records random snippets of the sounds of everyday life. You can deduce a lot of things from the sounds the participant is surrounded by - where they are, what they're doing, who they're talking to, what kind of interaction it is, what kinds of words they're using, what they're feeling, how much they talk, etc., etc. I'm so excited for the potential for this new method to bypass a lot of the limitations of questionnaire measures, and to complement them too. I really hope to use it in my research in the future!
2. Opera Scenes Dress Rehearsal was great!! It was so cool to see everyone else's scenes. Some of the acting was just hilarious. Oh my god, we have some seriously good actors in the midst. Annnnnd...in my duet, we kinda moved our pianist to tears. And she is embarrassed to have cried at Monteverdi, given that she studies later music (post-1840s). So, I took that as a good sign and a huge compliment!!!! I'm so excited for the performance tomorrow night.
3. My friend from high school confirmed that she will be visiting me from Indiana (where she's studying) this weekend!

What did I learn?

• Women are NOT more talkative than men. The book, "The Female Brain" made some completely unsubstantiated claim that "A woman uses about 20,000 words per day while a man uses about 7,000", but Mehl and his colleagues went through their EAR recordings and found that both sexes used about 16,000 words a day, and that sure, women spoke about 500 more words, but this difference was not statistically significant. Also, the three most talkative participants in that sample were males. Neurosexist myth debunked! Interestingly though, in self-reports, women report being more talkative than men. It just goes to show the force of cultural and societal expectations and norms, and the difference between self-concept and observed behaviour.
• Kindness comes as a package, or "Kindness cluster": Empathy, Affection, Gratitude, Praise, Optimism. People who show more of one, tend to show more of the others.
• People who show more everyday kindness laugh more and experience more positive emotion, and more meaningful social connectivity (socialising, disclosure conversations, and substantive conversations). But, everyday kindness seems to be uncorrelated with stress, depression, and life satisfaction.
• Mehl and colleagues are using the EAR to study the "Sounds of Compassion" - whether a compassion meditation course actually affects daily behaviour. So exciting.

Day 96: Passover Seder

What went well? 

1. Productivity is back (for the moment! everything is anicca (impermanent), after all...no grasping!), apparently. Got about 4200 words on the page for my Buddhism paper, with about 4.5 hours of work. A lot of this was direct quotes so I haven't actually paraphrased or "written" it properly yet, but it still feels good to get everything I think I want to include on the page, and to refresh my memory on the ideas - that's one thing I've found with this research - it's hard to keep track of all these complex ideas at the same time, and yet that's what's important for drawing connections. Will need to think about a system to deal with this issue for future work, especially things like theses and journal articles.
2. Went to a Passover seder, organised by a classmate. It was really interesting to gain some insight into Jewish culture, because I really don't know much about Judaism, and am actually quite interested in different religions now (not in converting to anything, but in understanding what people do and what it means to them). It was great to have this new experience. Also, I appreciated this:



3. Got a lot of potential RSVPs to my solo recital in two weeks! It will be lovely to have the support of friends there.

What did I learn? 

• Asana looks like a great tool for project management & organising communications. My mentor in Melbourne emailed me this morning about it, asking if I thought we should use it for our journal article project, so I checked it out and thought it looked great - definitely saves a lot of emailing and keeps communications in one place.
• Kosher (Jewish dietary restrictions) everything exists. Including Kosher coke?!?!?! (no corn syrup)

• Bits and pieces about Reform Jews and how they differ from Orthodox and Conservative Jews. The overall impression I got is that Reform Jews take a much more modern approach to their religion, trying to make it relevant to the modern context, and not taking the Torah as the law and direct word of God, but understanding that it was written by humans, for a certain time & place, even if it may have been divinely inspired. So even though it's still important to them, they interpret it with these considerations in mind. Reform Jews are also a lot more progressive in terms of welcoming gay/lesbian Jews, and also in terms of feminism.
• Even more impermanence. You know how it was absolutely gorgeous these past few days? No more!!! Storm. Wind. Cold. A massive worm massacre too, washed out by the rain...ew.

• A man was shot to death last night about 4 blocks away from where I live. But, as my friend puts it so eloquently in a Facebook status:



*snaps*. Oh god, I'm snapping! That is an American thing to do too btw.

Day 95: The World's Toughest Job

What went well? 

1. Admired cherry blossoms on the way to class. It's worth leaving early just to have those extra few minutes appreciating nature...

2. Was happy with what I got on my sociology of education mid-term.
3. Got another 1000 words down for my Buddhism paper. I've "written" about 18 pages already and still haven't finished my etymology section (which is only part A)...but I'm going to move onto the history (part B) tomorrow because I'm over etymology and definitions for now. I'm expecting to get to about 40 pages of word vomit before I start cleaning up the mess and making it a somewhat coherent, nuanced and refined 20-page paper :P
4. Made more progress on my literature search for the journal article. Over 600 hits for resilience + social-emotional learning search terms, narrowed down to about 179 potentially relevant articles.
5. Got really positive feedback from my mindfulness professor on my paper outline.
6. Watched a totally elevating video about the World's Toughest Job...

What did I learn?

• The amazing Magic Carpet food cart has been at Penn for 30 years!!!!! And they haven't changed the menu. I guess, if it works, then that makes sense! And it really does work, because they're always the most popular food cart with a huge line every lunchtime because they make high-quality, nutritious, healthy vegetarian food. I'm super grateful for them!
• When people get health insurance for physical health, they make more use of services for physical health, but when people get health insurance that includes coverage for mental health, the use of services spikes even more dramatically (overuse of services by people who may not "need" them - "need" is a relative term here). This is part of the reason why insurance companies are hesitant about providing parity of coverage for physical health & mental health issues.
• Read an op-ed by Adam Grant, Raising a Moral Child. It's basically a research summary of how to raise kind, compassionate, and helpful kids. Here are the key points:
1. Praise good character ("I guess you're the kind of person who likes to help others whenever you can"), rather the just the action ("that was a nice and helpful thing to do") 
2. Express disappointment (not anger) at bad behaviour (communicates disapproval of the bad behaviour, coupled with high expectations and the potential for improvement: "You're a good person, even if you did a bad thing, and I know you can do better.")
3. Generous actions speak far louder than words. Preaching without practice doesn't work in either the short- or the long-run.
• Oh my god, I have had a really unproductive past few days. Eek. I've just been a lot more distracted and procrastination-prone lately. It must be the lack of pressing deadlines or something. I just have to keep reminding myself, studying is homeostatic! It'll turn out ok because work always gets done when it needs to get done, and my mind sub-consciously seems to know when to self-regulate to do that.