Day 57: Positive interventions that people actually want to do

What went well? 

1. Met the newest person to join our research team. She seems really lovely, genuine, and with unique skills to contribute, and I'm really looking forward to working with her!
2. After our usual lab meeting, there was another informal lab meeting at the Positive Psychology Center on positive interventions, which we were invited to join, so I did. It was really insightful, and just so good to be in the loop on what top researchers in this field are currently thinking about their field.
3. Had a long Skype session with mum.
4. Was late picking up my laundry, but it was still in the dryer (vs. being thrown onto a dirty bench/washing machine). Hey, it's the little things in life!

What did I learn? 

• In the positive interventions lab meeting, one of the themes that came up was the idea of interventions that people will actually want to do and would actually do in real life. Psychology has the tendency to work in a top-down fashion, so we have theory and research about the foundations of wellbeing, then we want to devise interventions based on these theories, and impose them on people. And sometimes, they do work! e.g. the Three Good Things/What Went Well exercise, and using strengths. But they might not necessarily be "natural" activities that people would necessarily feel motivated to do. So, we were talking about the need to do more research on things people already do to increase their wellbeing, to build interventions from the ground-up, rather than assuming that we, as "the researchers", know better! That's why the intervention we'll be launching in a few weeks (after IRB approval etc.) will be relatively open-ended, but we're hoping to learn lots about the things people choose to do and how often, to gain some insight into feasibility and real-world practicalities. And we also need to learn more about what drives people, what motivates them, so that they will actually feel motivated to improve their wellbeing (assuming that people want to be happy and well). This is particularly important with all the work that's being done with schools right now (which is something I'm passionate bout), where the kids are essentially a captive audience - you have to make it resonate with them somehow.
• Caffeine may be a little bit alienating. I had coffee today (as well as my regular green tea in the morning) and I was super-focused in the afternoon, but at the same time, didn't feel particularly present/"grounded". Also, I noticed that I was more "edgy" and impatient, perhaps due to the extra stimulation/energy. It's very interesting to notice how much one cup of coffee can affect me physiologically.

Day 56: Guest speakers are great

What went well? 

1. Had a guest speaker in for Contemplative Sciences today, Dr Trish Broderick who designed the Learning to Breathe mindfulness curriculum for adolescents. Her insights into both the theory and the practicalities of implementing it were so valuable. It was the best class we've had so far for the course. I also got her to sign my book (manual) :P. Needless to say, I'm a fan of her work and look forward to seeing more research come out on this (there are a few published and a lot of ongoing research projects). This reminded me of something else Professor Duckworth mentioned yesterday in the guest lecture in positive psychology. One thing about being at Penn is that you get to hear from the experts themselves, rather than just a third-person summary of someone else's research. It's far more enlightening and nuanced this way.
2. Got a message from a friend wishing me a lovely spring break. I really appreciated it :)
3. I feel like I'm learning lots from research assisting. I've just started sorting through and organising a whole bunch of correspondence, noting details, questions, follow-up etc. relating to a measure of well-being that the post-doc I'm assisting has developed. It sounds mundane at a surface level, but the correspondence is actually really insightful. It reveals a lot about people's thought processes, what real-life research looks like, conflicts and good practices in research, what kind of information you should provide to people, and future directions.

What did I learn? 

• Research in schools is MESSY. Trish Broderick was telling us about the difficulties of 1. getting into schools and 2. getting the data in a non-messed-up way. Really useful to know because I really do want to research SEL programs in schools, so it's good to have a realistic perspective of what to expect.
• When getting school buy-in, it's really helpful to have something solid you can show them, like a physical curriculum/manual. Also, a lot of it is about understanding the school's culture and needs, and cultivating relationships to facilitate this.

Miscellaneous thoughts 

This is kinda from yesterday's Fellow's night, but also in general. Something that I've noticed is that professors, when asked how they ended up doing what they're doing now (at least 3-4 of them, anyway), seem to not really have a coherent "story" for how they got here. As in, they didn't seem to plan on it, it just kinda happened as a result of a series of events. This seems to be very different from the seemingly highly strategic approach that aspiring academics now take. Or maybe we're just kidding ourselves and the strategising and planning probably won't get us to where we think we'll be? Should millenials just drop the planning and go with the flow? It seems unlikely that that's a great idea that would actually work now, at least for academia.

Some thoughts on singing. I think it really teaches you a lot of things that are applicable to life in general.

For example, today I practiced after not practicing for two days, and eeeek it was not pretty or fun for the first 50 minutes, because the voice just needs a lot more encouragement after it's been asleep for even a couple of days. Despite having practiced every day last week. Anyway, I thought this was a nice illustration of the concept of karma. Karma isn't some mysterious spiritual force; it's just a natural law that certain actions will produce certain results. So, let's use singing as a simplistic example: lack of practice → sound like crap. However, this isn't a permanent state of affairs - it starts sounding less crap as soon as you start working at it again. So singing is an empowering practice in a sense, because you know that just as lack of practice → sound crap/not fun, practicing → sound good/singing is fun! 

Singing also illustrates impermanence, as well as the need to push through slumps and persevere. Some days (<5%) you're in really good voice, other times it's just good, average or even not that great. So singing is a lot about pushing through and learning how to sing through the average and below-average days, figuring out what you can do with the circumstances. It's not always fun! #grit

Thirdly, singing can help you get used to the feeling of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. That's something I'm trying to work on in singing and in life. But specifically, in singing, I'm exploring the full potential of my voice, as well as trying to add some stylistic features like operatic portamentos that feel a little weird/unnatural at the moment, like, "I'm not sure if I'm doing this right!" But hey, it's all about trying it out and giving it a go!

Finally, you can use your strengths to scaffold your progress in singing, as in life. For example, it's good practice to start with a "voice-setting song", a song that when you sing, just places your voice in the right position because it fits your voice so well and you've sung it with good technique so many times. This can help with subsequent songs. Can you think of an example of how you could use a pre-existing strength to help you meet another challenge/develop another quality?

Day 55: Harvard is hell for some

What went well? 

1. Buddhism mid-term went very smoothly.
2. Interesting sociology colloquium on what merit means in admissions to elite universities in the US & UK.
3. Really interesting guest lecture (Dr Laura Kubzansky) in positive psychology today on the relationships between positive psychological functioning & physical health.
4. Stouffer fellows night with my Buddhism professor as the dinner guest! It's always interesting to hear his stories, and this was no exception. Man, he has had some of the weirdest and funniest experiences. One of the stories he shared was a linguistics class he took as an undergrad at Boston, where the class ran from 12am-5am (yes, AM) once a week, by this totally weird professor, and they always drank lots during it. LOL. It's like something out of the movies?

What did I learn? 

• A new term: "diversity bargain". Students at Harvard & Brown are happy for race to be considered in admissions (affirmative action), so long as it benefits them - i.e. if they get the benefits of increased diversity by having the opportunity to interact with people from different backgrounds, but not if they self-segregate, and certainly not if said student hadn't gotten in because someone from a racial minority got in ("If I hadn't gotten in, then..."). I thought this was intriguing.
• Most research in the past pertaining to the relationship between emotions and physical health had focused largely on negative psychological states (e.g. Type A personality, depression, stress) & physical health, but only recently have they started to collect data on the relationship between positive psychological states (e.g. optimism, positive affect) and physical health. And yes, there is a huge effect!!! Not just wishful thinking. One study (I don't have the reference here) showed that participants who had high optimism at baseline had a 56% reduced chance of developing cardiovascular disease compared with the pessimistic participants (all were healthy at baseline). Another study showed that emotional vitality reduced risk of cardiovascular disease by 28% and optimism by 31%; these effect sizes are substantial as they are similar to the effects of diet interventions. I'm actually quite interested in perhaps looking at this line of research in the future - health psychology/public health.
• My intro Buddhism professor hated, and I mean hated Harvard. He did his Masters degree at the School of Divinity, and said that he felt physically sick getting off the train each morning to get into campus - hated everything about the place - the students, the buildings, the food, the weather, the city. I was quite taken aback. This made me think back to the discussion we had in our lab meeting the other day about institutional culture, and this is adding to my growing realisation that this is something that will be very important to consider. Whatever grad school or post-doc or faculty position I choose in the future will need to be backed up with solid motivations and solid research into the culture, not just because they're commonly accepted to be the "best" institutions for research or whatever. So, why did he hate it so much? "Imagine a room full of alpha-males and alpha-females who are trying to be alpha-males, all striving to show that they're better than each other, and that this is encouraged by the professors. And professors can't even be professors because you can never access them." Another story he told us was this time a student came up to him (this would have been about 15 years ago) and said, "I have a problem." He says, "Ok, let's talk about your problem." The problem? She got a B+ on a paper! It was the first time she'd ever gotten a B in anything, and she was all like, "What are we going to do about this?" Obviously, the professor was like wtf?! (not literally, but probably thinking that) and basically said, "I dunno." So she pressed him, and he was like, "Why don't you talk to the President about it? I'll come to the meeting." And she was like, "Ok, I'll do that. But you're not going to be at the meeting." Prof: "Too right I'm not. Because you're not going to get a meeting! You'll be laughed at if you call her." So then the student asked, "Why did I get a B+?" And he said, "Now you're asking the right question. Can you tell me why you shouldn't have gotten a B+?" And she couldn't answer it. Fascinating. Just fascinating. I can't believe how naïve I was (and to some extent still am) and susceptible to the "halo" of Harvard as the ideal destination, a priori. More critical thinking required. As an aside, he did love UC Riverside! From what I've heard, I'm liking the sound of the institutions on the West coast.

A few random pictures from the day

"Good luck on exams! Stay positive! It's almost SPRING BREAK"

I never noticed that the building behind Hummus was this awesome!

Colourful flowers at the grocery store

Day 54: Research, test prep

What went well? 

1. Basically wrote out the detailed design for an experimental design - we're testing a new positive psychology intervention. It's really cool to be a part of this process from the beginning.
2. I had a mindless moment where I left my key in my door when I went to the gym. When I got back and got the lock-out key from the guard to get back in, I realised that it was still hanging in my door. But nothing got stolen!!!! WHEW.

What did I learn? 

• I'm learning lots with my research assisting work, especially in going through the process of justifying decisions - it's really important to keep asking "why"!

Day 53: Best debate ever

What went well? 

1. Had our debate in intro Buddhism about what should happen to the pirate who raped a 12 year old girl who then killed herself. We were encouraged to interrupt and insult each other. Lol. I was in the "judge" group and we came up with a fourfold ruling consisting of (a) 10 years of monkhood for rehabilitation, (b) 5 years of community service after that for reparation, (c) public exposure via an international news interview for deterrence (by showing the painful effects of acting harmfully towards others - guilt, etc.), and (d) seven steps of reconciliation with the girl's mother, again to facilitate empathy and closure, and to reduce suffering. Our idea was to reduce suffering rather than to increase it, and to be guided by the principle of upekkha (equanimity/indifference) - to be compassionate towards everyone without distinction. Also, the idea that the pirate would reap his karmic consequences in time anyway. Anyhow, it was a great debate. Super lively, super emotional/dramatic, and I was super impressed by how well prepared each group was and how willing everyone was to engage in the debate. The winner was chosen by a vote (you couldn't vote for yourself) and we came in at a tie for second (one vote from first!!!). The point of the debate wasn't to discover the "right answer", but to recognise complexity & interconnectedness. Reflecting the nature of this experiential learning, the professor said in an email: "I run these chaotic debates for several reasons:


1. The process of debating doesn't lead to answers, in fact, it reveals samsara in action.
2. Debating creates selves. It is easy for us to say, "oh, I am compassionate," "I respect all views, religions, etc.: However, in a competition or in a debate with consequences, with serious issues, we often revert to "selves" and see the "others" as enemies. You might have even felt this physically. I wanted you to be frustrated. The point wasn't winning, it was experiencing the suffering of self-formation. This works the best when you first have to create an imaginary self (your character). 
3. Buddhist sutras work this way -- a problem is established and then many different characters, many different view points, many different scenarios are presented and the complexity of every problem is seen. This builds awareness of multiple points of view and lessens attachment, hopefully, to any one, including your own."



The professor furiously jotting down the (increasingly repetitive) arguments.



The TA made a wordcloud (frequency of words used) of our debate!!!! So awesome.

2. Got a lot of study done for my intro Buddhism mid-term, and am feeling good about where I am at the moment with that.

What did I learn? 

• Perception and beliefs have an insidious influence, and I am starting to realise that with my singing. I've never considered myself to have a "big" voice (well, objectively, I actually don't), but by thinking of myself as a "light lyric" soprano, or as having a "young voice" (also true), I think these ideas have made me somewhat hesitant to explore and stretch the full potential of my voice. I need to have the courage to be little bit risky and willing to take a chance, to pull out what I can so that I actually have something to work with. This was the key insight I got from my singing lesson today, and it was a valuable insight into my psychology as it relates to singing. Time for experimentation!
• There's a gender difference in depression of about a 2:1 female:male ratio, and this is fairly consistent globally. In countries with greater gender equity, the levels of depression are lower, but the ratio is even closer to 2:1 - perhaps better social conditions allow a "true" ratio to emerge. Suggests that there may be a strong biological component after all (though the details are still unknown). Really thought-provoking, since I've generally been skeptical about biological arguments about "hard-wired sex differences" since these are often used as arguments to reinforce situations of gender inequality (check out Dr Cordelia Fine's writings on this matter).

Miscellaneous thoughts 

• It's occurred to me that one thing that's somewhat quaint/archaic here at Penn is that most of the classrooms that I've seen so far are equipped with blackboards, rather than whiteboards!



Kinda a novelty to write on though!

Day 52: "Study Party"

What went well?

1. Finally finished preparing my study guide for my intro Buddhism mid-term, literally about 25 hours of work later... 18 definitions/explanations of significance for Buddhist terms, and four practice essays. Now, to actually practice recalling this stuff! About 8 hours over the next two days planned for this. This is objectively a disproportionate amount of work for 15%. To compare, I'd spend about 25 hours working on a 25% essay at UniMelb.
2. Had a "study party" with a new friend. i.e. keeping each other company/moral support and drinking tea while studying. It was actually really productive!
3. Finished preparing for a debate in Buddhism tomorrow. In Being Peace, Thich Nhat Hanh wrote of a situation where a 12-year-old refugee girl got raped by a pirate, and she subsequently killed herself. Thich Nhat Hanh suggested that if we took a gun to the pirate, then we'd be killing ourselves because we are all to some extent responsible for the shitty societal conditions that the pirate was raised in, and wants us to cultivate radical empathy. This idea is highly compassionate but of course debatable, so we'll be debating that tomorrow. My group is the "judge" group, so we're coming up with a decision as to what should happen to the pirate and a justification for that decision. The other "characters" in the debate are Thich Nhat Hanh, the pirate, the girl's mom, and a letter written by the girl before she killed herself. Will update on how that goes tomorrow! Anyhow, the WWW part was that our group collaboration via email actually went really smoothly, far more easily than expected. Everyone contributed with thoughtful ideas.

What did I learn? 

• The thing about keeping a daily blog is that it kinda encourages you to do interesting things (or at least think more deeply about what interesting things you learned that day!). Like, today, I had an objectively boring day - literally all I did was study and go to the gym - so this is a very boring thing to report on, and I wouldn't want to do that on a regular basis!
• I still haven't learned about the merits of taking a nap. I had an extremely unproductive afternoon, in which I now realise (again, too late!) that I may as well have taken a nap or a break, instead of trying to work all day. I did get everything done in the end but I still probably could have taken a break and gotten stuff down in a shorter amount of time.

Day 51: Magic Gardens and Casting Call

What went well? 

1. Magic Gardens Trip!!! Bottom line: If you're in Philly, you should go. Seriously. I loved this place. It was super colourful and creative and expressive...look! Also, the whole trip (transport, entry, food) was covered by Stouffer. Thanks again, Stouffer!






























2. Auditioned for Opera Scenes. Sang Ach ich fühl's from Die Zauberflöte. It went really well, and the organisers gave me some really encouraging and positive feedback. Mindfulness definitely helps my singing, in terms of staying completely focused, in character, and putting the intention and deliberateness behind every phrase and word. It was this intensity that they commented on. Really looking forward to finding out what scenes they choose, and what I'll be singing!
3. Still got a lot of work done. Prepared most of my flashcards for my intro Buddhism mid-term on Wednesday. Just need to finish doing that, then plan my practice essays, and then memorise the key ideas (and page numbers for citations, yeah I know, what??).

What did I learn?

• I really enjoyed meeting new people on the trip today. Had some nice conversations, discovering commonalities. That's kinda the thing with just being willing to sign up for activities and opportunities by yourself - it just makes you more open to starting conversations with more people, thereby creating more opportunities for meeting awesome new people!

Miscellaneous thoughts 

This actually belongs more in yesterday's post, but it's something I've noticed in general at Penn. People here are frazzled. That's the word I would use. I walked into my lab meeting yesterday, and man, everyone was frazzled about everything they had to get done and all the pressures on them. And it's not just the students, as we were discussing in our lab meeting - this culture of frazzledness is pervasive, including faculty and researchers alike. I wondered if it was just a feature of academic careers per se, assuming that they're all high-pressure jobs where you fight to prove your worth for tenure, publish or perish etc., but apparently it is not the case. Rather, it really depends on the prestige and culture of each institution. Hence, it is something I will really have to take into consideration in future when thinking about graduate schools, post-doc positions and eventually where I would like to end up working. I don't know if I'd be willing to completely sacrifice work-life balance/stay long-term in an atmosphere described by a fellow peer as a "dark cloud" (I haven't really felt it, being just a temporary outsider, but have noticed the effects on others' morale and wellbeing) for the (numerous, actually) advantages of a top institution, but maybe it's something worth doing for a few years if it's an important career move. On the other hand, perhaps I would thrive in such conditions! Some do (or seem to, anyway). Stress per se isn't bad - it's our beliefs about stress, and our resources (especially social and psychological) that ultimately determine how we fare. I seem to be thriving here, but again, I have chosen a relatively light courseload and am under a lot less pressure in terms of grades. So I'll try and talk to some more faculty & graduate students and see what their impressions are.